I share Batman's pain

I love this! My inner geek smiles at the thought of being Batman

Other Batman moment phrases:

1. I'll have the biggest half ........ WTF half is exactly 50% and by definition is EQUAL!!! You can't have the biggest half especially not of cake!
2. Very true......Truth is an absolute, it is binary: 0 or 1. It is or it isn't. You can't have very true (it is a programmer thing).

Emotional constipation and words from a Persian

I have to say these really did amuse me, it is always about that level of tolerance isn't it ;)

It made me think of the phrase "They don't tolerate fools gladly" - really I make the whole American Idea of zero tolerance seem mild. 

I think my attitude towards "fools" was heavily influenced by the following verse. I had to write it out in primary school to practice handwriting; it and several others are firmly wedged in my mind. It was written by a Persian, 

He who knows not, and knows that he knows not is a child teach him;

He who knows, and knows not that he knows is asleep wake him;

He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not is a fool shun him,

and he who knows and knows that he knows is wise follow him.

Being shunned just didn't sound cool or awesome, or hot when you were 7.

Sex and spelling ....... There is a connection

Obviously the title is somewhat tongue in cheek, however, we engage in so many lazy forms of communication now a days that we rarely stop to think about the use of language. I hate text speak emails, it makes the sender appear uneducated and unintelligent. It also shows that they are lazy and not willing to put the effort into communicating properly with you.

If people can't communicate then they won't form a relationship. This is key and just in case any of you girls have forgotten the golden rule I'll remind you.   

You don't sleep with a man to get into a relationship with him, you sleep with a man because YOU ARE in a relationship with him

Never sell yourselves short girls! You want your cake not crumbs.

So sex and spelling - Why it counts :) ENJOY!!


My first experience of "sex and bad spelling" was at work and it was forever immortalised on my appraisal. My boss had put "inculated process within the department", I had no idea what it meant. I turned to "Google". This is an excerpt from the conversation that followed the results "Hi VV Boss, this word here (points to it). I don't think it means what you think it means. I don't think either of us should be commenting on extra curricular activities".....He had meant inculcated, however he was an former Para ...... OOps I typed that.

Grammar can radically alter the meaning of a sentence:

I can also get annoyed when people always your when they mean you're. I made this card to explain the difference to guys :)

I love benefit make up, I have used their eye kit big beautiful eyes since they started making it! It is a lovely neutral palette, when they added this card to the someecards collection I thought it was fantastic! Sadly though boys do NOT get your hopes up, as actually I won't sleep with you on a first date no matter how good your English is. 

For me this is more about good relationships are built on good communication and people making the effort to get it right. 

However, this is the hands down winner when it comes to sex and spelling ..........................

Stacy's Mom, has got it going on! The rules of cougaring

Sometimes not looking your age isn't as great as people think, people think you are much younger than you are which on the dating scene can be amusing. The plus side is you aren't going to find yourself appearing on 10 years younger! (If they did that to me I would have acne!!!)

I tend to play the 10 year rule, so domestic tabbying and Puma'ing is ok - but once you are into cougar territory you have to step carefully and Sabretooth catting well girls that's when you are old enough to be their mother. It's wrong!

• 0-5 years younger                                Domestic Tabbying
• 5-10 years younger                              Puma'ing
• 10-15 years younger                            Cougar'ing
• 15+ years younger                              Sabretooth Catting

It isn't always easy doing the right thing, trust me knocking back a guy who is half your age with washboard abs and biceps and legs to match requires a certain level of madness, but you just need to remind yourself "What would their Mother think?" .......swiftly followed by "What would your own Mother think?".....

When I find that a younger guy is trying to Cougar me, or worse Sabre Tooth Cat me I accept their compliment. It is nice that someone has found you attractive and you should always thank them for saying so, but at the same time you have to let them down nicely.

I always say "Thank you, for your compliment, it was very sweet and sincere of you to say those things. However, this is all a bit Fountains of Wayne for me!" and then send the link below:

Baby it is cold outside

I am absolutely nesh and I really do feel the cold. I am told it is because I am a 'slight'. On mentioning being cold, a friend pulled this card and asked if it is was THAT cold?

I tried to suppress the thought of how cold hell freezing over actually would actually be.

It's going to have to be -273.15°C and it's no where near that cold!

Self Esteem and the guys who just want sex

The reality check is that the vast majority of guys don't want relationship, they want all the benefits with none of the effort.

So if you find yourself asking, does he just want to sleep with me, then girls sadly the fact you asked the question means it is a yes, and that he is a A-hole and needs to be jettisoned ASAP, no hanging around.

Your Self Esteem isn't low enough to date guys like that. Give them a wide berth and focus on the people who want to be with you and will make the effort getting to know you.

I got fed up of explaining to guys that I didn't just want some 'fun'! Dear lord half of them can't even say it they have to use euphemism so this for all you guys who think you are "just so special".........



I know that this might be uncouth,
But I decided to tell you the truth .....

My self esteems not low enough to date you,
It's close but not quite there,
give me time to get a bit more desperate,
and you and I could make an awesome pair.

I seem like your perfect target,
like I've been lonley for too long,
you think I haven't had sex in forever,
and I'll admit that you are not wrong

But I would rather have no one,
than this crap, let me reaffirm,
I wouldn't touch your dick if I had been poisoned
and the antidote was in your sperm....

I know that this might be uncouth,
But I decided to tell you the truth .....

My self esteems not low enough to date you,
It's close but not quite there,
give me time to get a bit more desperate,
and you and I could make an awesome pair.

Ah yes the ball-less wonder of the Fade Away

Ah yes the "Fade Away" it is one of the features of internet dating, and it is really rather annoying. I don't think it does anyone any good to dump them or to tell them you aren't talking to them by NOT talking to them. Communication is key, and whilst it is horrible being rejected at least when someone does it 'Old School' and tells you you get to suck it up and you get closure. The fade away is what is easiest for the person waking away, it isn't the right thing.

I think people think that they are saving your feelings, but as a lot in life when we try not to hurt people we probably hurt them all the more, so as the following poem says "We let you down gently by just not fucking telling you" - I mean what kind of messed up thinking is this? I think the strangest part is what it tells you about commitment. If someone was committed to be with you they wouldn't do the fade away, but the flip side is if they weren't committed to you and wanted you gone they would just tell you, so the fade away says "I can't commit to being with you and I can't commit to not being with you either".

So for all you ball less wonders - please man up and take 30mg, it's wrong when the 5ft 5 woman has the biggest set of bollocks in the relationship..............and dare I say some of this behaviour probably explains the dire state of the nation! 




The Fade Away


I did nothing wrong, you have no excuse
Just our intuition telling us we shouldn't reproduce

Inside I know your tactics just delay it
But you'd do anything so you don't have to say it

You'll draw this out forever like it's Vietnam
Then one day you'll be gone just like Bambi's mam

Cause there's the right thing to do
Then there's what you're going do

There's so much you should say
But instead... You do the fade away

Now you're fading like chalk on a painting on the sidewalk
Or the polio virus after Jonas Salk

The erection of a man on antidepressants
The cast of Diff'rent Strokes after adolescence

We see your faults but not our own
Then we wonder why we're all alone

We fill you up with maybe's, excuses and stalls
But like a baby in China... it's better to have balls

We pretend to ourselves it's the nice thing to do
To let you down gently by just not fucking telling you

And deep down we know it's the worst way to play it
And really you know you should have the balls to say it!