Sex and spelling ....... There is a connection

Obviously the title is somewhat tongue in cheek, however, we engage in so many lazy forms of communication now a days that we rarely stop to think about the use of language. I hate text speak emails, it makes the sender appear uneducated and unintelligent. It also shows that they are lazy and not willing to put the effort into communicating properly with you.

If people can't communicate then they won't form a relationship. This is key and just in case any of you girls have forgotten the golden rule I'll remind you.   

You don't sleep with a man to get into a relationship with him, you sleep with a man because YOU ARE in a relationship with him

Never sell yourselves short girls! You want your cake not crumbs.

So sex and spelling - Why it counts :) ENJOY!!


My first experience of "sex and bad spelling" was at work and it was forever immortalised on my appraisal. My boss had put "inculated process within the department", I had no idea what it meant. I turned to "Google". This is an excerpt from the conversation that followed the results "Hi VV Boss, this word here (points to it). I don't think it means what you think it means. I don't think either of us should be commenting on extra curricular activities".....He had meant inculcated, however he was an former Para ...... OOps I typed that.

Grammar can radically alter the meaning of a sentence:

I can also get annoyed when people always your when they mean you're. I made this card to explain the difference to guys :)

I love benefit make up, I have used their eye kit big beautiful eyes since they started making it! It is a lovely neutral palette, when they added this card to the someecards collection I thought it was fantastic! Sadly though boys do NOT get your hopes up, as actually I won't sleep with you on a first date no matter how good your English is. 

For me this is more about good relationships are built on good communication and people making the effort to get it right. 

However, this is the hands down winner when it comes to sex and spelling ..........................

Stacy's Mom, has got it going on! The rules of cougaring

Sometimes not looking your age isn't as great as people think, people think you are much younger than you are which on the dating scene can be amusing. The plus side is you aren't going to find yourself appearing on 10 years younger! (If they did that to me I would have acne!!!)

I tend to play the 10 year rule, so domestic tabbying and Puma'ing is ok - but once you are into cougar territory you have to step carefully and Sabretooth catting well girls that's when you are old enough to be their mother. It's wrong!

• 0-5 years younger                                Domestic Tabbying
• 5-10 years younger                              Puma'ing
• 10-15 years younger                            Cougar'ing
• 15+ years younger                              Sabretooth Catting

It isn't always easy doing the right thing, trust me knocking back a guy who is half your age with washboard abs and biceps and legs to match requires a certain level of madness, but you just need to remind yourself "What would their Mother think?" .......swiftly followed by "What would your own Mother think?".....

When I find that a younger guy is trying to Cougar me, or worse Sabre Tooth Cat me I accept their compliment. It is nice that someone has found you attractive and you should always thank them for saying so, but at the same time you have to let them down nicely.

I always say "Thank you, for your compliment, it was very sweet and sincere of you to say those things. However, this is all a bit Fountains of Wayne for me!" and then send the link below:

Know your own self worth

• I might not be someone's first choice, but I am a great choice.
• I might not be rich, but I am valuable.
• I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, because I'm great at being me.
• I might not be proud of some of the things I've done in the past, but I am proud of who I am today.
• I might not be perfect, but I don't need to be.
• Take me as I am, or watch me as I walk away.

I was sent these words and I thought I would share them. I think they paint a portrait of someone who appreciates and likes themselves as a person. It is difficult when we first meet people we often pretend to be things we aren't to impress them or to make them like us more. It is pointless and a waste.

If someone is going to like you or reject you, let them do it for being the real YOU, be true to yourself if you aren't you just end up living a lie and it will never bring you happiness. 

Life's not worth a damn until ..........

You can say "Hey World I am what I am"........

I was listening to some songs from a variety  musicals. I find I often return to the song  "I am what I am"; I love the message in this song. So I thought I would pick out the key lines that speak to me as an individual.


I am my own special creation

How many of us are truly ourselves? We spend out time emulating others, wanting to be like them. How many people can truly say they are the very best version of themselves that they can be? Don't waste your life being anyone other than yourself.


Give me the hook, or the ovation

I can't help but smile when I hear these lines - it is about peoples commitment to you, they are committed to help and cheer for you, the ovation; or they are against you. This is one of those you are with me or against me lines. You are a supporter or a detractor. I like it because their is no middle ground. No ambiguity.


It's my world that I want to have a little pride in

Take pride in you life, your appearance, your achievements. Take pride in your friends and be thankful for all your blessings. This is about enjoying what you have but not over doing it.

I don't want praise, I don't want pity

I don't need external validation or affirmation so when I do something great it is enough that I think it was great, I don't need people to keep telling me. I also like that the song recognises that the same is true for pity. When really bad things happen you don't want people to pity you or feel sorry for you, you want a bit of empathy and to be treated like a normal person - you don't need to seek your value externally, the answers are within yourself.

I'll beat my own drum

Well I am marching to the sound of my own drum, so it is a good job it is me beating it hey!

Why not try and see things from a different angle?

I live my life by this, whatever you first think turn it round 180; so girls when you get a "fade away" or the A-hole, you probably think what did I do? what did I say? yada yada yada, and you feel there is something wrong with you. HELLO get with the program girlfriend, this is nothing about you. It is them! Thank them, they know they aren't good enough for you and they are freeing you to find the wonderful person you deserve. Really the chances are it was a narrow escape from the wrong person for you.

I am what, I am and what I am needs no excuses

NEVER, I repeat NEVER make excuses when you are being yourself, you do not need to apologies for who you are or explain

One life, so it's time to open up your closet

Don't live life in fear, don't let fear make your decisions for you. Face the 




It seemed fitting to throw in my "Finding Nemo" dress. How many women can look this good wearing a fish tank? I love it, and it is turquoise :) I wore it to a friends wedding and did have a moment as us girls do of "Oh what if someone is wearing the same thing as me?".......If my best mate hadn't done an emergency stop. Turned to me and said "Chick, if someone is wearing the same as you I really will run naked down the promenade".........

Not sure why I worry really - No one has ever been wearing what I am ;)

It was an amazing wedding and all the more lovely as I wore my pearls for the first time since my husband died. I wore them on our wedding day.



Dress: Sarong wrap by Vivien of Holloway in Hawaiian Ocean Print (not reef)
Shoes: Bordello Mary Janes

If I look slightly dazed and confused this is because I have been awake for 30 hours at this point, isn't IT great :)

Photos: Marvellous Marv the Hardware Hippo and Best Friend in the Universe

Ah yes the ball-less wonder of the Fade Away

Ah yes the "Fade Away" it is one of the features of internet dating, and it is really rather annoying. I don't think it does anyone any good to dump them or to tell them you aren't talking to them by NOT talking to them. Communication is key, and whilst it is horrible being rejected at least when someone does it 'Old School' and tells you you get to suck it up and you get closure. The fade away is what is easiest for the person waking away, it isn't the right thing.

I think people think that they are saving your feelings, but as a lot in life when we try not to hurt people we probably hurt them all the more, so as the following poem says "We let you down gently by just not fucking telling you" - I mean what kind of messed up thinking is this? I think the strangest part is what it tells you about commitment. If someone was committed to be with you they wouldn't do the fade away, but the flip side is if they weren't committed to you and wanted you gone they would just tell you, so the fade away says "I can't commit to being with you and I can't commit to not being with you either".

So for all you ball less wonders - please man up and take 30mg, it's wrong when the 5ft 5 woman has the biggest set of bollocks in the relationship..............and dare I say some of this behaviour probably explains the dire state of the nation! 




The Fade Away


I did nothing wrong, you have no excuse
Just our intuition telling us we shouldn't reproduce

Inside I know your tactics just delay it
But you'd do anything so you don't have to say it

You'll draw this out forever like it's Vietnam
Then one day you'll be gone just like Bambi's mam

Cause there's the right thing to do
Then there's what you're going do

There's so much you should say
But instead... You do the fade away

Now you're fading like chalk on a painting on the sidewalk
Or the polio virus after Jonas Salk

The erection of a man on antidepressants
The cast of Diff'rent Strokes after adolescence

We see your faults but not our own
Then we wonder why we're all alone

We fill you up with maybe's, excuses and stalls
But like a baby in China... it's better to have balls

We pretend to ourselves it's the nice thing to do
To let you down gently by just not fucking telling you

And deep down we know it's the worst way to play it
And really you know you should have the balls to say it!

You have the face nature gave you......

You have the face nature gave you at 20 and the face you deserve at 40.

Coco Chanel uttered those words and they ring so very true. There is nothing that makes me more sad than a woman who has aged before her time. We all know sun beds are bad (check out the super pale skin, do you think I have ever tried to get a sun tan) but you have to eat well too, try to get 10 of your 5 a day you will feel better for it. Swap bread for more vegetables, salad or fruit. It gives you great skin.

I also think that a good skin care routine is vital - I am a great believer in Mitsy (a character in Priscilla Queen of the Desert who packs a suitcase of moisturiser for the trip to the outback.

Invest in a good exfoliant there are plenty on the high street, I like the Body Shops Vitamin C micro exfoliant, I use environ as my main range and get that from a local salon. 

We've all had hard lives, trials and tribulations and stress that we could have lived a happy life without encountering, but looking after yourself and treating yourself with a good bit of pampering is a healthy way of boosting your self esteem and feeling good about yourself. Don't let yourself go girls love the skin you are in.

No Makeup